For a lot of interesting thoughts on grief, go to What’s My Grief on facebook. You may find some helpful information and some comforting thoughts from two young ladies who have made grief their area of focus. Borrowed from their Blog and titled “64 things I wish someone had told me about grief”, a sampling follows: 1. No matter how prepared you think you are for a death, you can never be fully prepared for the loss and the grief. 2. Dying is not like you see on TV or in the movies. It is not peaceful or prepared. You may not have a spiritual or meaningful moment…it’s too real. 3. There will be pressure from others to move on, even minutes or hours after a death, and this can lead to regrets. 4. Death and grief make people uncomfortable, so be prepared for awkward encounters. 5. When people offer support, take them up on it. 6. People will bring you food because they don’t know what else to do. Don’t feel bad throwing it away. Their love and concern was shown in the giving. 7. Death brings out the best and the worst in families, so be prepared. There is no timeline for grieving. You cannot rush it. You will grieve, in some form, forever. 8. Guilt is a normal part of grief; as is anger. 9. Grief can make you question your faith. 10. Grief makes you feel like you are going crazy. 11. We all grieve differently, which can create strain and confusion between family members and friends. 12. You may find comfort in very unexpected places and with people who you would never have suspected as being caring. 13. Trying to protect children from death and the emotions of grief is not helpful. 14. You grieve your past, present and future that will never be with that person. 15. Holidays, anniversaries, and birthdays will be hard forever. 16. People will tell you what you should and shouldn’t feel and how you should and shouldn’t grieve. Ignore them. 17. Grief triggeres are everywhere. You will see things that remind you of your loved one all over the place, and it may lead to sudden outbursts of emotion. And that is OK. 18. Sometimes it gets worse before it gets better. 19. You cannot compare grief or compare losses, though people will try. Nobody can know how you feel. 20. There are many days when you will feel totally and completely alone, whether you are or not. 21. Grief counseling does not mean you are crazy or weak. 22. It is okay to cry sometimes and it okay not to cry sometimes. 23. Grief can re-write your address book. Sometimes the people you thought would be there for you were not and people you never would have expected will become your biggest supporters. 24. Watch you drinking or drugs…they can quickly become an unhealthy friend. 25. Talking isn’t the only way to express and process emotions. 26. Talking to God is a great way to grieve and it is okay to be mad at Him. He understands. 27. You will never go back to being your old self. Grief changes you and you are never the same person. 28. Nothing you do in the future will change your love for the person who died. 29. Eventually you will begin to enjoy life again, date again, have another child, seek new experiences or what have you. None of these things will diminish your love for the person you lost. 30. Grieve your way and the heck with everyone else.